There’s a lot going on.  Carson had some real highs today and yet we know what that is sometimes followed by.  He was supposed to be leaving for college, playing hoops, hanging with friends and meeting new ones, surfing one last time.  There’s the anticipation of how future might be different and the hurt of what seems was taken away.  These are the thoughts, along with so many others. 

Those days will continue.  They might get harder.  I believe that’s where the invitation lives.  To become.  To grow.  To receive wisdom as a byproduct of the hurt and hard. 

But at 18 years old just beginning the adventure of life on your own, no wisdom will be a salve on the burn of a life radically shifted.   

But getting outside might.  Moving your body might.  Laughing with strangers and friends might. 

Today, the ICU PT team rallied Carson out of a bed for the first time in two weeks and made the long slow roll in the wheelchair down the corridors of Swedish hospital, to get outside.  Carson got to feel sun on his face today, and for a moment, it was all OK. 

Whether the smile is a Hollywood pose or real, I know he felt it for a moment.  I hope he can experience a moment like this every day, then maybe two, then who knows how things might progress. 

And he laughed with the PT team, discussing House of Dragons versus Game of Thrones, and a handful of other playful debates.  I got to watch my son engage with kind people, and feel joy.  It gave me hope.  I know it was at least a seed that was planted for him that will require tender care and intentional nurturance.

Still in the ICU tonight, surgery Friday morning for the first skin graft.  Wish him luck.  Love to you all.